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God invites you into honesty and desires to join you in your struggle.
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22 The same night he arose and took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 He took them and sent them across the stream, and everything else that he had. 24 And Jacob was left alone. – Genesis 32:22-24
Jacob’s life is all packed up. He sends everything on ahead and lingers behind. For a moment, he’s left alone. Perhaps with his family on the other side of the river, he could finally gather his thoughts as he prepares to meet his brother. With no distractions and nothing to hide behind anymore, he takes a deep breath and exhales. His eyes close slowly. It’s just him– and the silence. The anxiety is now palpable.
Left alone, Jacob is stripped down to silence and forced to face up to what’s really in his heart – fear. He’s been working so hard to hold his life together and figure out a plan to win his brother’s acceptance that he hasn’t truly faced up to his unshakable longing or his fear. Without realizing it, he’s been refusing to let God into the struggle, until now.
We, like Jacob, often focus on holding our lives together and making sure others don’t see what’s really going on. We fill our lives to the brim to avoid the silence because we don’t want to face reality welling up inside. Today, God invites you into honesty and desires to join you in your struggle. So don’t put it off any longer. Take at least five minutes today to remove all distractions and find a quiet place to be left alone with God. Simply note what thoughts and emotions arise.
Tremble, and do not sin;
Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still.
— Psalm 4:4 NASB
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By Yvonne Biel
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